Posts Tagged ‘john and stasi eldredge’

Why Marriage | It Is Worth It

April 1st, 2011

Ok, we realize it’s April Fool’s Day.  But this blog post is no joke. It may even be best we post it today because there’s a lot of [understandable] messaging going on that getting married or committing to one person forever is just stupid, for fools.  So, here we are, dedicated to learning how to […]

 

Ok, we realize it’s April Fool’s Day.  But this blog post is no joke.

It may even be best we post it today because there’s a lot of [understandable] messaging going on that getting married or committing to one person forever is just stupid, for fools.  So, here we are, dedicated to learning how to make marriage, not only last, not only work, but be real, lifelong, and beautiful (scars and all).

That’s why, whether we’re photographing, blogging, or just talking with our couples, our priority isn’t just their wedding day, it’s their marriage.

So we just finished our all-time favorite book on marriage thus far:

Love and War: Finding the Marriage You’ve Dreamed Of by John and Stasi Eldredge

The most honest, frank, brutal really but beautiful, inspiring, and heart stirring book on love, real, lifelong, makes it through kind of love.  From single to married, there’s a lot of good stuff here.  An excerpt of my [Drexelle] personal favorite excerpt:

It can be done.  And it is worth it.

Of all the things a man or woman needs to hear about marriage, this is perhaps the most important of all.

It can be done.

And it is worth it.


breaker

Story of Us | Working Together as a Married Couple

November 10th, 2010

We were holding hands and strolling down Disneyland last Sunday when David stopped.  He paused, looked at me and said, “I feel like we’re falling in love with each other all over again.” One of those time-stood-still-moments and silently I thanked God because I knew it was true. Starting a business as husband and wife […]

 

We were holding hands and strolling down Disneyland last Sunday when David stopped.  He paused, looked at me and said,

“I feel like we’re falling in love with each other all over again.”

One of those time-stood-still-moments and silently I thanked God because I knew it was true.

Starting a business as husband and wife was something we’d always wanted to do someday.  We had even talked about it back when we were dating in high school.  But, back then, it was just some illusory dream.  And, like most dreams, it sounded like something that would be idyllic, smooth sailing.

But when we started a business together officially last year, it most certainly has not been.

The hardest step for us in starting a business together was learning to work…together.  Opposites attract.  Opposites clash.  And, in particular, the past few months since going full-time have been the hardest.

But why?

We dated for 8 years, worked together in part-time jobs, clubs, school, ministry.  But this was something altogether different:

We were married.

We worked together.

There was no boss, bureaucracy, or corporate culture we could rely on or blame – It was just us two.

…and it was 24/7.

two big things that work against you

the drama

A few weeks ago, we had an argument and a friend had later told me, “See this is why I don’t want to get married, too much drama.”

I thought about what she said as I returned home, after having left it fuming just a few hours before.  I walked in the door and when I saw David, he immediately just held my hand.

Yes, there is drama.  But there is nothing like knowing someone is still going to be there, at the end of any conflict, holding your hand.

growing up

When we were engaged, we had gotten more criticism than congratulations.  The most popular reason was that there was still so much growing up to do.  Now since we first met at the age of 14 and 15 respectively, we’ve seen each other do a LOT of growing up.

Now starting a business together, we’ve seen even more growing up and we’re sure we’re still to see tons of it.

But I think this is the MOST exciting thing about working together: seeing just how far you’ve gone in the time you’ve spent working together: personally, professionally, emotionally, spiritually, the whole gamut!

But isn’t that what you want to do when you get married?  Grow old together?

growing in love (amidst the craziness)

When starting a business together, you start to follow your passions and dreams side by side.  It becomes a quest where, the sad thing is, you can easily seem to turn into each other’s enemy (just like anytime during the relationship).

But the craziest thing is, as we go through the drama of starting a business and working together, we’re rediscovering each other and falling in love with not just who we were and who we are but who we’re becoming.

More importantly, we’re learning more and more each day, despite days of sleep deprivation, body aches, and the ultimate unpredictability of life:

__________________________________________________

“MARRIAGE IS THE SANCTUARY OF THE HEART.

YOU HAVE BEEN ENTRUSTED WITH THE HEART OF ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.  WHATEVER ELSE YOUR LIFE’S GREAT MISSION WILL ENTAIL, LOVING AND DEFENDING THIS HEART NEXT TO YOU IS PART OF YOUR GREAT QUEST.”

- JOHN AND STASI ELDREDGE IN LOVE & WAR

__________________________________________________

wedding slideshow (includes David’s romantic proposal)

Something fun – a montage of us growing up from babydom to David’s romantic proposal that was shown at our wedding.  Go to 3:43 to go straight to the proposal.

what next?

Can any of you relate?

What have you done to help you get through the crazy times with your significant other?  Share your experience with a comment below!